Moments of beauty for some surface debilitating trauma for others

The crunching sound of the dry desert beneath his feet and the fierce flow of the arroyos carved by Monsoon rains were deafening. With the backdrop of the Sandia Mountains, an explorer new to the area or a native New Mexican would gratefully praise the beauty. An animal lover might marvel at the intelligence of the cat hanging from the blinds of the window screen, demanding to be let in with a long drawn out meow. The night sky so clear with every star visible and only the sound of the nearby owl would be an astronomer’s or nature lover’s dream.

Driving through the small village town, the rapid beat of his heart led to a flood of tears. It had been a couple of years that he had dodged visiting that area. Unfortunately, his avoidance also created distance between him and his friends who still lived there, and who had no idea of the connected trauma he had linked to that area. Heading south surfaced memories and feelings that he’d rather drive hundreds of extra miles to avoid, even if the quickest route was in that direction.

What one person experiences is not always what others do in these moments. Moments of beauty to one person could be memories of trauma or triggers to another, sending one’s mental state into a tailspin. Triggers or stressors are prompted by something a person hears, smells, or sees that surfaces feelings of trauma or stress. There are more obvious experiences that people may be somewhat aware of with loud noises. For example, the loud pop of a balloon at a children’s birthday party may result in a grown person crawling under a table remembering the trauma of being shot at and losing their loved one to gun violence. However, those other experiences such as the sounds of the water flowing in the arroyo or the silence of the night with only owls hooting can bring back traumatic memories that are even less expected than the response to a pop of a balloon.

As part of Mental Health Month, try to make space for understanding mental health conditions and remember you may not know what another is experiencing. Whether through firsthand trauma or secondary trauma, there may be unspoken, invisible responses individuals around us are having at any given time. Sadly, many times we mistake other’s avoidance of certain situations or behavior that is not considered “normal”, as a personality defect.

For those in recovery of a mental health condition, they have to be very cautious of what they are exposed to and the environment they are around. Your favorite movie may take another person into the darkest of spaces. The book you’ve learned the most from may set another person back in their recovery as they relive aspects of their trauma. Your favorite concert venue might be the place that peaks another’s anxiety the second they are surrounded by lots of people.

It’s hard to know what things may surface feelings of past trauma or be a stressor or trigger in one’s mental health condition. Sometimes the individual will know what stressors they need to be cautious of to stay in recovery of their mental health, but that is usually when they have received therapy or support to learn what those triggers could be. Through therapy, many individuals will have opportunities to create a Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) and Wellness Recovery Crisis Plan. However, according to the World Health Organization, nearly two-thirds of individuals with a known mental health condition never receive treatment. Because of that, it is unreasonable to expect that everyone who has experienced severe trauma will be able to identify and avoid triggers that could affect their mental health. Many triggers or stressors may not even be avoidable and therapy to learn how to manage responses of them takes time. For those who do know what their triggers are, it is essential we respect their avoidance of or responses to them, without pressing for information regarding details.

How you can help…

Don’t make assumptions - When you find another person responding in an unexpected way to a given situation, try to keep from making assumptions about that person and what you believe they are experiencing. You will truly only know if they decide to tell you and if they are actually understanding what they are experiencing themselves. Many times, an individual will not be aware of certain triggers until they have experienced them several times or have had opportunities to process through and reflect on them.

Respect limits - Be cautious to not pry or ask direct personal questions related to another person’s mental health. If an individual chooses to talk with you about their mental health condition, they will bring it up to you and reveal what they want to. It is essential you respect the limits of every person. If you are unsure about what this means and how to interact, especially with those close to you, there are free resources provided for family and friends of loved ones with a mental health condition through NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness).

Be informed - You cannot be expected to know all there is about mental health conditions and shouldn’t position yourself as a specialist, unless you truly are. However, if you look around and count up to five people, including yourself, one of you has a mental health condition, according to the National Institute of Mental Health in the US. According to the World Health Organization, the data reveals a higher rate of 1 in 4 individuals. This data alone should be enough reason for you to seek information about mental health conditions. For individuals with a mental health condition, along with surrounding family, friends, community members, and mental health specialists, NAMI offers an array of programs and resources throughout the US.

Be kind - When a person is experiencing effects of trauma or triggers that are affecting their mental health, the last thing they need is judgment and being called out for acting differently. They are likely very well aware their response is not being received well and they may be experiencing a deep level of embarrassment and frustration. When they know you are there, responding with kindness and patience, they will feel less disabled by their mental health condition. Let them know you are there for them and ask how you can help. It is in how we respond, we can help those affected by a mental health condition feel there is hope for recovery.

Beyond a trigger - If an individual is in a mental health crisis, beyond being triggered by situations or experiences, be informed about how you can support them in crisis. NAMI provides infographics that specifically lay out the warning signs and what to do in a mental health crisis.