As part of a partnership for one of our #DiscussDiversity Twitter chats on education for women and girls, I reached out to a couple of close friends who migrated to the United States after growing up in countries where education is difficult to access for women. Their experiences gave me a glimpse of what they have endured and their insight and words resonated deeply. It is these connections with others that broadens our sense of community, increases our empathy, and allows us to provide one another support.
One of my friends grew up in Tunisia. I asked him to share his experiences and observations of education in Tunisia for children. He stated that the real enemy of kids is poverty. Due to limited transportation, he explained how walking many miles to school is common. He spoke of the lack of heating and sanitation in schools. This immediately made me think of a post a colleague shared about some girls not attending school in the UK due to lacking access to feminine products. With the lack of sanitation, I can only imagine how difficult the issue of hygiene is for girls in Tunisia, including the issue of access to feminine products. Some organizations, such as Wallah We Can, are trying to combat some of these barriers.
He spoke of the excessive abuse in schools, with consistent violence against children and great resistance to girls getting an education. Extreme poverty is prevalent, pushing parents to pull children out of school so they can work. To add to this, he shared how early marriage is almost a priority for girls. Having daughters, I can only imagine what crosses his mind as they go to school each day here in the United States, possibly reflecting on the opportunities his daughters have here that would not be possible in his home country. This leads me to further think about why people migrate to other countries, as they seek opportunities for themselves and their families that would not be possible or even reachable where they are from.
Another friend of mine grew up in Vietnam. She also noted poverty as one of the biggest challenges growing up, resulting in low self-esteem for most girls. Her parents cared greatly about her education and struggled to ensure their 4 children got an education. Many families there have 7-10 children or more and education is not affordable for most. She said that girls are considered burdens on their families. She said the priority is that they get married and move out, so there will be one less mouth to feed. When my friend was younger, she noted that a girl’s success is measured by her marriage to a rich family.
When she was 13, she asked her mom if she could quit school. Many days her teachers would call her name in front of the class asking for money because her parents hadn’t paid the school fee for her. She shared how embarrassing that was. By that time, most of the kids in her neighborhood no longer went to school. Her mom would tell her, “No. I will find the $3 school fee.” She told her she must stay in school if she wanted out of the poor neighborhood they lived in.
My friend said some of the boys who didn’t go to school became drug users or dealers. Some of the girls went to the market in the morning to help their mom sell pork meats and some of the girls became prostitutes. She noted that others were dead by the age of 16 and some were lucky to spend their youth years in jail. I considered that last statement, “…others were dead by the age of 16 and some were lucky to spend their youth years in jail.” My heart breaks, imagining that being “…lucky to spend their youth years in jail” could be a reality for anyone. It also makes me reflect on what I know about the realities around the world, including here in the US.
She continued to share how schools were far away from home and that she used to bike 30 minutes one way to get to middle school, 1 hour one way to get to high school, and 1½ hours to her trade school. The challenge of pouring rain and the extreme heat made it physically and emotionally exhausting. I remember having a conversation with her a couple of years ago; she explained that when it would rain and flood, the poor sanitation would cause the flooding to be steeped with sewage. She would have to ride her bike through that.
It amazes me how strong my dear friend is. How far she has come in her life. She is a successful working woman and lives only 30 minutes from me now. I try to imagine what it has been like for her. Her commitment to her family has not faltered and she helps them to survive back in Vietnam. Her mom kept telling her to keep on trying. She believed a good education would help her daughter make better choices for herself and offer her more opportunities.
Many girls are unable to strive beyond poverty and overcome barriers blocking their education. This is why building awareness and advocating for better educational situations for girls and women are important. Awareness is the first step to making change.
Little girl (about 3-4 years old) with dark hair and eyes in a yellow dress