There is a lot to think about and talk through when it comes to biases that have been ingrained across generations. I came across this article recently about social bias transferred from one generation to the next. Though it focuses more on our interactions with children and how we should be aware of what we model to those younger, what kept filling my mind was the fact that I am constantly learning from generations both above and below me, as they model inclusivity.
Several summers ago, I was in the car with my son (who was 19 at the time) and we pulled up to a stoplight with a man holding a sign asking for food or money. Sadly, the homelessness in our city has skyrocketed due to deep poverty, fewer mental and physical health care services, and increased access to heroin and methamphetamine. Looking at this man who was homeless and in need, I'm embarrassed to say that my initial reaction was fear. My son told me, "Mom, give him our water." We had a couple of bottles of water we just bought. I told him, "Son, he may not be safe." He looked at me and then rolled down his window and the man walked to the passenger side of the car, as my son handed him the 2 bottles of water. The man was so grateful, smiling at my son in appreciation.
I learned so much from my son that day. His empathy for this man was far beyond mine and for reasons that require a whole other story to be written. His empathy made me realize the risk was worth helping. I also realized that my fear was far beyond the man being "dangerous." The more I thought through that experience, I realized my fear was that we could be that man. There is not a big safety net completely preventing that, though we all like to think there is.
As I sat in the car that day with my son, years removed from some of the more difficult years we've experienced, I realized how out of touch I was from where I had been before. I realized how sad and scared I felt to think that we could be where this man stood on the corner of that intersection. I was powerfully humbled being reminded by my son to overcome fear through empathy.
The idea of acknowledging our biases and moving toward, not away from, the things that make us uncomfortable is powerfully noted in this TedTalk by Vernā Myer. We must not only model for our children this strength of moving toward discomfort to overcome bias, but we must model for all those around us crossing every generation. We must model advocacy, bringing awareness of diverse needs for those who are open to learning, planting seeds for those who may not be in a place to listen, but most importantly realizing there are many across all generations who are observing and taking in what they see.
Have there been any biases transferred to you from other generations?
Has another generation modeled something that has uncovered, challenged, or changed a bias you once held?
Man sitting with his head hanging down, with a bag of his belongings to his right, a dog on his lap, and another dog huddled to his left.