Do you see me or my disAbility?

Embracing one’s disability is very connected to the words used to describe it. As we learn and gain different experiences, we may change how we describe our disability. As language changes, words that are used to describe specific disabilities also change. Do you pay attention to how others describe their disability? You may find terms change across generations. For example, it wasn’t until 2010 the word “mentally retarded” was replaced with “intellectual disability.” Some people may not even be aware of that change.

As language changes, some words used to describe different areas of diversity may become derogatory. We need to remember, some people may be unaware of the changes. Creating safe spaces to openly hold conversations around these changes are essential to growing inclusive environments. In addition, some terms are preferred by some individuals and not by others. Though the term “disabled” is used by many people, some choose to use other terms when they are describing their physical, cognitive, or mental health condition because they feel the term “disabled” can have a negative or reversing force. Some other terms used are “alternatively abled,” “differently-abled,” “disAbled-with emphasis on abled,” etc.

Whether you know the many terms and remember them is not necessarily essential. What is most important is to use people-first language and trying to honor the preferred language a person uses to describe their disability, if they have shared that language. The Arc notes, “People First Language puts the person before the disability, and describes what a person has, not who a person is.” An example of this is using the phrase, “a person with a disability,” rather than “a crippled person” or a “I am in recovery of my mental health,” rather than “I am a schizophrenic.”

Be sensitive to the language you use and be kind to yourself as you are learning the most appropriate ways to hold discussions regarding disabilities. Also, it is truly the place of the person with a disability to surface conversations regarding their disability, not yours. Just as with any other person, talk about things you would regularly discuss whether that be family, friendships, life experiences, personal or professional growth, etc. If the topic arises about the other person’s disability and the related beauty or hardships it brings, it should usually come from them. This is especially the case when you are not close to that person.

When an individual shares with you a disability they have, pay attention to the language they use to describe their disability. Try to mirror the language they are using to respect how they want to describe their disability. For example, if a person tells you they are “partially sighted,” it shows respect for you to use that language if you are in a conversation specifically about disabilities of vision with them. If you are unsure what specific terms mean, ask. For example, another term used to describe an individual who is partially sighted is “legally blind.” Ultimately, what is most important is being inclusive of others, honoring them as individuals, and using language they feel is empowering, as long as the language is inclusive and not derogatory.

Alternative terms for describing a disability can both play a role in facilitating inclusion and empowerment, as well as making some people feel stifled or unable to enter a conversation. We need to provide safe spaces for people to discuss inclusion and navigate language as it changes. Remember, even those alternative terms have the potential to take on negative connotations in the future. The most important thing is that we keep having conversations to create the most diverse and inclusive spaces.

Teenage boy with hands covering his face and one eye showing, wearing a black cap backwards